Your introduction was strong and well researched, but the gap in knowledge and the research question could be more clear. It was hard to identify as the reader. You used a lot of great sources which is excellent, but I would make sure to expand on your research and independently state why this information is important. Citations were correctly cited internally in APA format The graphs are very well-done and easy to interpret. But, I would include somewhere in your paper the total number of participants included in the survey. This information greatly impacts the interpretation of the data. The organization of the paper was very easy to follow. But, instead of conclusion, I would label it “Discussion”, in order to follow the assignment requirements. Overall, I have very few recommendations because I see this rough draft as a very strong and well done paper. The organization, use of graphs, and clear language made this paper excellent. But in a few ways to improve, I would expand on your internal quotes, clearly state the research question and gap in knowledge, and include number of participants. Well done.
1. Overall, the paper is structured well, but some areas got a little confusing. The second paragraph in the intro has good information but it seemed tossed in there. Find a better way to transition to and from this paragraph to make it sound a little more natural. Also, the beginning of the Results section got a little confusing. The first smaller paragraph of the results section sounded awkward. I would suggest either getting rid of it or expand on your ideas a little more and that might help the flow a little more. 2. Followed APA throughout and fulfilled the length requirement. A few spelling and grammatical errors throughout paper, but overall the language was pretty clear and concise. 3.Follows IMRaD format overall. Expand more in the Methods section, seemed a little bare. In the Results section, the graphs were slightly confusing because I didn’t understand the different labels of each column. I thought the rest fulfilled the requirements except with spelling and grammar corrections needed throughout. 4.The survey could be considered kind of personal in the second question but otherwise the survey is good. There are a few grammatical errors. 5.I would focus first on transitions from paragraph to paragraph. Then I would make sure to change the title on the axis of the graphs to make it less confusing. Lastly, go back and reread to fix grammatical and spelling errors.
Your introduction was strong and well researched, but the gap in knowledge and the research question could be more clear. It was hard to identify as the reader. You used a lot of great sources which is excellent, but I would make sure to expand on your research and independently state why this information is important. Citations were correctly cited internally in APA format
ReplyDeleteThe graphs are very well-done and easy to interpret. But, I would include somewhere in your paper the total number of participants included in the survey. This information greatly impacts the interpretation of the data.
The organization of the paper was very easy to follow. But, instead of conclusion, I would label it “Discussion”, in order to follow the assignment requirements.
Overall, I have very few recommendations because I see this rough draft as a very strong and well done paper. The organization, use of graphs, and clear language made this paper excellent. But in a few ways to improve, I would expand on your internal quotes, clearly state the research question and gap in knowledge, and include number of participants. Well done.
1. Overall, the paper is structured well, but some areas got a little confusing. The second paragraph in the intro has good information but it seemed tossed in there. Find a better way to transition to and from this paragraph to make it sound a little more natural. Also, the beginning of the Results section got a little confusing. The first smaller paragraph of the results section sounded awkward. I would suggest either getting rid of it or expand on your ideas a little more and that might help the flow a little more.
ReplyDelete2. Followed APA throughout and fulfilled the length requirement. A few spelling and grammatical errors throughout paper, but overall the language was pretty clear and concise.
3.Follows IMRaD format overall. Expand more in the Methods section, seemed a little bare. In the Results section, the graphs were slightly confusing because I didn’t understand the different labels of each column. I thought the rest fulfilled the requirements except with spelling and grammar corrections needed throughout.
4.The survey could be considered kind of personal in the second question but otherwise the survey is good. There are a few grammatical errors.
5.I would focus first on transitions from paragraph to paragraph. Then I would make sure to change the title on the axis of the graphs to make it less confusing. Lastly, go back and reread to fix grammatical and spelling errors.